We’ve heard it all before: tightness is associated with virginity and looseness with promiscuity. However you may have heard these misconceptions, it’s important to understand that not only are they creating damaging expectations for women, but they are also blatantly false on a biological level. Having a clear understanding of how women’s bodies function can help dispel incorrect information about both sexual activity and how women should be viewed and valued.
Throughout history, myths have been perpetuated that promiscuous women have looser vaginas and that anything inserted into the vagina will cause it to stretch beyond repair. In fact, the vagina is a muscle that will expand, contract, and stretch to accommodate objects from tampons to babies. In addition, having penetrative sex or using tampons is not enough to dramatically alter the vagina and it will return to its normal state some time afterward, this is true even after childbirth. However, over time, your body will change, and while there won’t be anything as dramatic as the myths claim, you may notice some natural looseness over many years due to age or multiple childbirths.
In the same way, tightness is not an indicator of how much sexual activity a woman has had. However, it can show how ready a woman is for penetration, as tightness can be a response to anxiety or stress, or it can be a signal of non-arousal. While it is natural for some women to feel tightness the first time they have sex, it is important to recognize that virginity cannot be proven in this way and that there can be other causes for such a feeling. In fact, women who have underlying conditions such as vaginismus may struggle to have anything penetrate them due to trauma or sensitivity of their body. Additionally, issues such as vaginal infection can cause pain and sensitivity for anything attempting to enter the vaginal canal, which can cause the vaginal opening to tighten in response.
For women who find penetration difficult or impossible, there are a few options to make things easier. Therapy may be suggested for those who experience tightness due to a traumatic experience, or tools such as dilators may be used to help the body become more comfortable with the sensation over time. Additionally, in many cases, simply using lubricants and spending sufficient time in foreplay can help women ease into a more relaxed vaginal state, making the experience much more pleasurable and enjoyable.
While there will be some natural changes with age, extreme looseness can also result from underlying conditions and there are ways to get that strength and stretch back into the vaginal muscles. First of all, a doctor might recommend Kegels or a variety of pelvic floor exercises to strengthen the muscles in that region. There also exist other procedures such as botox injections that can help stimulate the area and restore elasticity. One such procedure is Viveve, which is performed in a quick, easy, and safe manner that promotes the growth and production of collagen. This in turn will increase sensitivity and the strength of muscle contractions and provide a range of other pelvic floor benefits.
Always discuss with your doctor any problems, concerns, or treatments you are interested in so that you can receive the necessary care for your unique situation.